Love Beyond Fear

How do you love without fear. The majority of us share a guarded love, because experience has taught us that people will mishandle our love.  We are talking about love in all forms: romantic, parental, friendly, or whatever the case may be.  There is a silent, inconspicuous fear present that the love we are experiencing will, sooner or later, cause us pain. If we are parents, we try to protect our kids from everything. We try to protect them from things that we really have no business trying to protect them from.  But we love them deeply and fear the love that we have for them would crush us if it were taken away.  We love our spouse.  We share ourselves with them. But we operate our relationship in a way that limits our acts of love for them out of the fear that they will damage our love.  We treat our friends the same way.  It is clear to us now that they are also human and will inevitably disappoint us.  So we will only go so far for them.  Why? We fear what bad things will come of our love.

 

In John 4:18 the Bible says that there is no fear in love.  Really? How can that be?  How can there be no fear in love? Well, let's start with what love really is. In I Corinthians 13, God gives us a clear picture of love.  Love is patience and kindness.  Love doesn't envy.  It isn't prideful, rude, and doesn't act selfishly. Love isn't easily angered. Love doesn't take pleasure in sin or evil doing. Love takes pleasure in truth. Love deals with a lot, believes in people, is hopeful, and stands up to everything. Love doesn't fail.  So then love isn't that warm and fuzzy feeling a person gives you. Love is selflessness. Love is putting the other person before ourselves.  Fear is quite different.  The root of fear is selfishness, or at the very least self-preservationism. Fear, any kind of fear, is in essence a sense of needing to protect one's self from something or someone.  Fear always boils down to us thinking of ourselves. So, if everything that is love is selfless, than fear has no part in love.

I believe that we do have moments that we love purely.  Once again it has nothing to do with our feelings. It's actions that we take that are love.  Fear may rear it's head, but we get past it and love beyond the fear. For example, you remain patient with a troublesome neighbor who is less than friendly.  You share a kind word and a warm smile with them though it will likely not be reciprocated.  That's love.  Or...you remain hopeful for a troubled child. You help them though they are undeserving and regardless of the fact that you may end up with the short end of the stick. That's love.  Or...your marriage has been difficult and has had some extremely rough patches. You both wanted to throw in the towel sometimes, but each of you never really wanted to hurt the other. You withstand the trials together and look out after each other no mater what.  That is love. Sometimes these selfless acts come easily and naturally. Sometimes they are a choice.  Either way you've put someone else before yourself. You have loved.

 

So, yes, we love and, yes, we fear.  We just don't fear while we are truly acting out of love.  When we act out of love, we cast out our concerns and love beyond the fear.  

Scripture:
I John 4:7-8
Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loves is born of God, and knows God. He that doesn't love doesn't know God; for God is love.

Prayer:
Lord, help us to get past ourselves and love beyond our fears.