Beyond Zimmerman: Unmoved

I expected a different outcome.   So when I sat at my father in laws retirement party and saw our atmosphere of joy wash away under a wave of grief, I quickly came to understand that my expectation was all wrong.  Some cussed.  Some cried.  Mouths dropped open in disbelief. I was surprised but emotionally unresponsive. I wanted to be angry with Zimmerman and disgusted with our judicial system. I wasn't.  I wanted to cry for Martin and mourn in behalf of my heritage. I didn't.  I wondered what was wrong with me.  For lack of a better word, I described myself as being numb.  But I knew that wasn't right.  Numbness indicates that there is underlying pain that is being blocked from surfacing. It indicates a lack of sensitivity.  But I am very sensitive. I am sensitive to the unexpected loss of a life. I am sensitive to families and friends going about their daily life and in an instant something happens that changes everything.  I am sensitive to people.  All people.  No, I am not numb.

Though, I didn't know what state of mind I was in  There were things that I did know. I knew that Martin didn't wake up that morning expecting to cross paths with death. I knew that Zimmerman had no clue that the choices he would make on that day would affect a nation. I knew that only God knows the truth of the moment and the intent and the heart of both parties involved.  And I am absolutely certain that what we hide from one another we can never hide from God and if there is any blood on our hands it will be required of us.  

Who do we blame?  Do we blame Martin because he is gritty, black, and street?  Do we blame Zimmerman because he is seedy, noncompliant, and suspicious?  Who do we blame!?! The Bible says that people are not the source of the evil around us.  The principals and powers that are at work in and around us are the true enemies.  On the morning, that a young man lost his life, Zimmerman pulled the trigger. Still, he was more of a vice than a culprit.  Zimmerman overpowered someone defenseless, because he was defenseless against a power that was greater than him.   The initiator, the aggressor, the dominator and the winner of that tragic day was fearfulness. It is one thing to have fear.  It is another thing for fear to have you.  Fear is intended to be an indicator that something in our lives is off and we need to get God involved.  Fearfulness is when you let the spirit of fear overtake you. Fearfulness is a dangerous and cruel master.  It steals your peace, makes you feel powerless, and makes you self-preserve out of the fear that God will fail you.  What's worse is that fearfulness is misleading.  It deceives you into believing that you can control things, but when you take the situation into your own hands instead of giving it over to God, things tend to get far worse.  Like a plague, it is also contagious.  Fear begets fear. When Zimmerman was found not guilty, people became hurt, angry, and resentful.  The root of hurt, anger, and resentment is fear.  People feared that other people   who don't respect the lives of all human beings could possibly have more control over them than God. That is only as true as you make it.  If you choose to handle your life your way or this world's way, then you and this world is all you have to lean on and trust in.  If you choose to submit your life to God, truly submit your life to God in word and in deed, then God will see to it that you are taken care of. 

Anyway, I've figured it out.  I am not insensitive.  I am not emotionless or numb.  I just believe God.  He is who he says he is.  He will do what he says he will do.  God has the final say.  We will all stand before him and answer for the choices and decisions we have made in our lives.  Whether or not the stystem that I am under here on earth is for me, God is for me.  He is my defense.  He's never lost a case. I am unmoved.

Scripture:

Romans 8:31
What then shall we say to these things, if If God is for us, who can be against us?
Psalm 23:4
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me
Proverbs 3:5-7
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.


Prayer:
Help us not to commit evil for evil but to overcome evil with good.  Help us to see what is going on around us through your eyes.  Strengthen us in our love for you and our love for one another.